Christopher Langan's Cognitive-Theoretic Model of the Universe (CTMU) was first published no less than two decades ago. Unfortunately, however, this work has received little attention from contemporary academia. Mr. Langan is often lambasted for his ostensible prolixity, obscurantism, and his writings' supposed "lack of rigor". However, if one holds steadfastly to one's own curiosity and powers of intellectual discernment, one will unearth a theory that will indeed shake this very world as we know it. In this book, I endeavor, through a cross-analysis with Langan's work with that of Ludwig Wittgenstein, to illustrate the CTMU in all of its metaphysical and spiritual grandeur, leading the reader to form his own conclusions about the theory.